Jesus says it's your fault...

So I started writing this blog post last week, actually, and it turned into this massive thesis-type paper of 10+ pages that I figured was inappropriately long for a blog post, so here's the abridged version.  If you're interested in reading the more thought-out and detailed version, email me and I'll be happy to send it to you.

Victim-blaming has become an all-encompassing aspect of our culture here in the states. 

Whether it's slut-shaming girls for being so audacious as to get raped; claiming that if poor people simply worked harder they'd cease to be poor; or even throwing race into the mix and saying that "black culture" is inherently self-destructive and that they bring their own misfortunes upon themselves, it's very clear that a good portion of time and energy is being spent pointing the finger at victims of misfortune and telling them that "If only you..."

But why them?  Why does this happen?  How is this even a thing?  We're rounding the corner into the tail-end of 2014 -- shouldn't we, as a race of human beings, have grown beyond this imaginary blame-game and learned to actually address the real issues plaguing our society?

To figure out why it happens, it's important to realize where it started, so that we can get to the root of the problem and excise it.

And it's all the church's fault.

Christianity, actually, to be specific.

See, while we live in a modern age, we're still desperately clinging to outdated old rules and regulations, norms and mores, from old-timey days when the church basically ruled the Western world. 

Our calendar (which we've since forced the rest of the world to adhere to) was invented by a 400+ year dead pope.

Many of our superstitions (which still subconsciously pervade our daily lives) are Christ-centric.

Nearly every major holiday we celebrate was invented (or stolen and repurposed by) the Christian (Catholic) church.

So while more and more people are actively leaving the church it's gonna take some time to eradicate the cultural traditions imposed upon us by nearly a thousand years of forced compliance.

And a great way to start is to end victim-blaming.

Please understand that there are some people who really do bring woe upon themselves, and they definitely deserve to reap their just rewards.  This is not about them.  This is about people who did nothing to deserve their misery other than simply existing in the wrong place or the wrong time.

But wait!  I hear some of you saying (magically, through my computer screen, because it can do that now), isn't it their fault for being in the wrong place at the wrong time?  To which I would say:  Why do we even consider places and times "wrong?"  Why shouldn't we, in modern day, industrialized, civilized lands, have freedom to roam unmolested?  See?  You're already blaming the victim instead of addressing the cause.

One of the key tenets of Christianity is the reliance on Christ in order to achieve "salvation" (as they preach it).  If you don't give yourself over to Christ Jesus, then you're doomed to burn in hell for all eternity. 

See it forming already?

Everybody goes to different extremes on this point, but I've actually heard it said that if you'd never heard of Jesus by the time you die, then you're still condemned to hell...  Or, from the more lenient of believers, purgatory.  Some people are kinder about it and say that if you don't know anything about Jesus by the time you die, you can still be forgiven if you choose to go to him after death, but that still requires you to make that choice.

On top of that, there is quite a bit of persecution of non-Christians by Christians for learning about Jesus and then rejecting him and his teachings.  These people are considered worse than the ignorant because, to the view of Christians, they were offered "salvation" and then actively turned away from it.

Once this happens, everything that goes wrong in that person's life is their fault, because surely if they'd only accepted god (their god - the capital-G, father-of-Jesus, old-plus-new testament god) then their lives would be better off for it because then, and only then, could god (their god -- see above) intervene in their lives and solve all of their problems for them.

Or, barring that, he could at least lessen their suffering.

The problem with this (well, there are many, so I'll try to keep this concise) is that it makes everybody into victims, and it makes everything their fault.  The words "if only" (already found within this very blog post) spring to mind and are heard often whenever something outrageously enraging happens. 

"If only he'd complied with the officer'sorders..."

"If only she hadn't dressed so provocatively..."

"If only they'd work a little harder..."

All trace their roots back to the old line "If only they'd accept Jesus Christ as their personal lord and savior..."

The reason for this, of course, is that it's easy.  We're too lazy in our quest for the truth, or quite often we don't like it so we look elsewhere for answers.  It's easy to point the finger at a single individual and blame them for their lot in life than it is to look at society as a whole and try to effect real change.  It's easier to simply look down our noses at the downtrodden and already-suffering than it is to look at the powerful or wealthy or truly unjust systems in place and try to actually stop it from happening. 

But it has to start somewhere.

So how about this:  Instead of saying "If only he'd complied with the officer's orders" we start saying something like "If only cops didn't turn to lethal force as a default response?"

Instead of saying "If only she hadn't dressed so provocatively" we said "If only we stopped teaching boys that women are their lessors, put on this Earth to service and please them?"

Or how about we stop saying "If only they'd work a little harder" we start saying "If only the wealthiest assholes on the planet didn't fuck over the working class and literally steal billions of dollars from us all?"

Alternatively we could say things like "If only we stopped dumping billions of dollars into bullshit anti-crime initiatives and privatized, for-profit prisons?"  Or "If only we actually prosecuted rapists instead of desperately trying to sweep it all under the rug as if it wasn't happening."  Or even "If only we could get a SINGLE JUDGE SOMEWHERE IN THIS FUCKING COUNTRY to say 'affluenza' isn't actually a thing and made all laws apply equally to everybody, unilaterally, regardless of the level of wealth of the defendant."  You get the idea (and I've got a whole post on-deck addressing rich crime vs. poor crime).

But on top of all of these, we should also be moving back to the source...  When someone says "If only they'd accepted Jesus into their lives" we should call it the bullshit it is.  All it does is separate people into an "us vs. them" mentality -- and then make members feel better about themselves by convincing them that those poor, poor souls brought it upon themselves by not joining their magical little club. 

And that's what it's all about, really.  Feeling superior to other people.  After all, if we're not doing better than other people, how do we measure our own success? 

But again, that's the lazy answer.

So step one:  Stop relying on the failures of others in order to measure your own successes. 

Step two:  Stop defaulting to the victim for what happened to them -- look at the situation, not the people, for what's REALLY going on and start there.

Step three:  Stop being afraid of fighting the big fight.  Don't be lazy and pick on the individuals -- suck it up and don't be afraid to blame the system, or society as a whole.

I know it can be scary -- after all, YOU'RE a part of society.  If society's to blame, then surely you're part of the problem, right?

Well, yes.  But step one to improvement is realizing that there's improvement to be made.  Start with yourself, and move up from there.

And yes, this goes for me, too.  I've got a lot of work of my own to do, but at least I'm trying.  Are you?

O Captain, My Captain...

I'm stunned.

Typically celebrity deaths don't faze me a whole lot.  Stars burn bright, and then they fade away.  There are some who shine so bright they burn themselves out, and while it is a tragedy, it is not altogether shocking.

So when I got confirmation that Robin Williams had, in fact, passed away today, I was blown away.

Robin Williams had been an example of overcoming your demons.  He had been to rehab multiple times, and his self-awareness and responsibility of taking care of his problems was inspiring, in many ways.  It gave me hope that if this guy got it, then more people would get it.  If one of the best and brightest of us all was human, and could recognize it in himself and seek the help he needed, then the rest of us could, too.

But this...  This was a surprising one.

I have always known of Robin Williams, I think, as I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't.  Like most of the rest of the world, it started with Mork and Mindy and just grew from there.  His comedy was genius, and flashing forward to his appearance on Inside the Actor's Studio I could see that it all came to him naturally.  The drugs weren't what created his art, if anything the drugs slowed him down and allowed his body to keep up with his brain. 

You see, we all have a million ideas floating around us at all times -- just out there, in the ether.  The more brilliant ones are able to catch and hold onto a few.  The truly gifted could spot and catch more.  But watching Robin Williams perform, it became evident that he saw them all...  And he caught every last one of them.

As his career went on he regained control of himself, and learned to channel it all into more powerful ideas -- and more powerful performances.  The fact that he didn't win the Oscar for Dead Poets Society was a sting that lasted until Good WillHunting, when the Academy finally realized that they couldn't ignore him any longer.  He was simply too smart, too funny, too strong, too poignant...  simply too good to ignore, and when he won, the rest of the world's reaction was a nonplussed mixture of "Duh," and "It's about fucking time."

I never knew him personally, so I can't comment too much on his life out of the spotlight.  I've heard stories from friends, and friends of friends who had run into him on the streets of New York or had met him somewhere or other, that he was genuinely kind, polite, and appreciative of his fame.  He worked, and worked hard at what he did...  But thinking about it now, it seems that he had to work hard, lest he fall victim to his own brilliant insanity.  As Charles Baudelaire said, "Genius is nothing more, nor less, than childhood recaptured at will."

And that was Robin Williams.

A man who could play and dance and sing and show and live so powerfully, yet so childlike, WAS genius...

But all genius comes at a price.

I've never heard or even thought about Walt Whitman without thinking of Robin Williams, and now I know I never will.  Sure, he didn't write the script, but those words were his.  In that moment, every single person watching was a student, his student, and we were all enriched by his lessons. 

It's almost funny that I so recently wrote of The Wonder Years, and just yesterday watched the episode "Good-Bye" in which we see the powerful student-teacher relationship between Kevin and his math teacher, Mr. Collins.  I'd have to check the dates, but I'm fairly certain that that episode was produced riding the coattails of Dead Poets Society, but ended with the teacher's death.

And here we are today.

We have lost a great and powerful force in this world with the passing of Robin Williams.  He was a force for good.  After all, the laughter he generated never came at anybody's expense but his own.  He wasn't mean or cruel in his jokes - sure, he pointed out the foibles of the world around him, but he saw his own faults as well.  He was as quick to laugh - at himself as he was at others, and he was so quick with it that he could run circles around anybody in the room, or audience, or wherever.

And so he will live on through all of us.  For every life he touched, for every laugh he generated, for every pause he gave us, he will forever be remembered.  We are lucky to have shared in his genius and insanity.  But like so many other people, for me, I will always remember the inspiration.

It is with tears in my eyes, that I close this post with what is now particularly poignant:

O Captain!  My Captain!  Our fearful trip is done;

The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize we sought is won;

The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,

While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:

But o heart!  Heart!  Heart!

O the bleeding drops of red,

Where on the deck my Captain lies,

Fallen cold and dead.

Rest now, my teacher.  Your lesson is well imparted.

TV Helped Ruin My Life

Okay, that's a rather extreme statement, but it makes sense in relation to the rest of the post, so keep reading and you'll see what I mean.

Also, for the purposes of this post, please read the following in Daniel Stern's voice.  If you don't know who Daniel Stern is, click here.

Ruth and I binge-watched Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared a while ago, and since then, they've both remained in my Netflix queue as go-to shows to watch whenever I want something on in the background.  They're great shows - evocative of nostalgia yet hilarious for the outrageous situations the characters find themselves in.  Never wholly unreasonable; they're shows that demonstrate realistic situations and a mix of both extreme and realistic reactions to said situations.

But for me, the best of these shows has and always will be The Wonder Years.

It's a strange choice, I'll grant you, as I didn't live in that era (1968 to 1973), but it was more that the characters in the show were living the same years I was when it was on.  When the show premiered in 1988 I was ending 5th grade and going into 6th...  Making the leap from grade-school to middle-school, and all the insanity that is involved with that time of life.  Kevin (you know the show, you know who I'm talking about, don't pretend you don't) was starting 7th grade and entering middle school as well.  Sure, his character was a year older than me, but for some reason this big-haired, nerdy kid was one that I could identify with in more ways than I could count, and thus the show resonated with me.

Kevin had his Paul, the more-geeky best friend, and I had John, my similarly geeky best friend.  Kevin was the youngest of three children, with one brother and one sister, and I, too, was the youngest child with an older brother and sister.  Kevin had Winnie, and I had my own version.  Kevin wasn't ever one of the popular kids, despite all his efforts to try to be, and I was hopelessly relegated to a hanger-on, also.

It was like the producers had made a show about me and set it in the late 60's...  And it was awesome.

But that same connection to the show also caused me more than a little trouble when my own life didn't mimic the happy endings that came at the end of every 22 minute episode.  Granted, the show had its poignant moments of loss and tragedy, confusion and misery; it was a show about growing up, after all.  But whereas everything was neatly reset by the following episode, I was falling behind in my own personal resolutions to similar problems.

I think it's interesting that in debates about what's causing the destruction of youth and why kids today are falling apart (a concept I don't actually agree with), some groups point to violent video games, John Cusack points to pop music (go watch High Fidelity), some groups point to violent movies and TV shows...  But nobody looks at the "wholesome" stuff and points the finger that way.

When I watched the show, I had the benefit of hearing the narrator's voiceovers and thinking, "Yeah, that's right."  But I also made the mistake of thinking that everybody I interacted with could hear the narrator's voice, too, and just knew what the subtext was in any given situation.  I took a lot of things for granted and my own communication skills suffered because while I knew what I meant, and the show knew what I meant, the rest of the world couldn't hear the grown-up voice explaining everything going on beneath the surface.

Arguments and misunderstandings went unresolved, and honest expression wasn't my strong suit.  Thus, it took a while for me to figure out that maybe things weren't as clear to the rest of the world as it was in my own head.

Also, The Wonder Years (and I blame Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared for this as well), provided an unrealistic expectation for justice and, for lack of a better phrase (because I'm too lazy to look one up right now), Social Darwinism.

To this day I don't know how I got so lucky as to end up with Ruth -- I'm certain it's through no fault of my own -- and I'm (I would say) unreasonably fortunate to have the friendships I currently enjoy, but it's taken me the better part of my life to get here.

On TV, however, nerdy and geeky kids pretty much always get the girl they're going for.  Eventually.  Typically within one season, if not just a few episodes.  And while it doesn't always end up well on TV, the fallout from such breakups is relegated to background noise and occasional inconveniences for the character.

Everybody alive can attest that it's never quite so easy.

(Pay attention robots, you'll need to know this if you ever hope to fit in with the human world before your eventual takeover)

So when I broke up with my own personal Winnie to ask out my own personal Madeline - while Kevin actually succeeded in the show (if only temporarily) I failed miserably.  And rightfully so -- it was a dick move and I've regretted it forever, but while the show rolled on with Kevin living his life and experiencing new problems every week, I was stuck dealing with the fallout from my own fuck-up for far too long.  Worse yet, while the show relegated Madeline to a background character role before eventually phasing her out completely, I had to watch as my "Madeline" ended up dating a friend of mine and my "Winnie" shut me out and wouldn't have anything to do with me for years to come.

(To be fair, Matt was a great guy and totally deserved to be with "Madeline," but it didn't make me feel any better to see them going out together while I was single and lonely)

(And no, I'm not going to reveal the girls' real names, so don't ask)

I'm grown up now (sorta), and I still love the show (it's on right now as I type this, of course), but coming back to it after all these years has brought up a lot of feelings for me.  In many ways I suffered right there with the characters through it all, and even though I stopped watching it in the later seasons, whenever I did catch an episode it was all too true.  I think part of the reason I stopped watching it was because it was too true, and I didn't want to keep making the same mistakes.  Ultimately I'd have to say the show did more good than harm, though, as suffering through it helped teach the valuable lesson that real life and TV are not the same thing.  Reality is never resolved in healthy, 22-minute segments.  And while new characters only stuck around for a few episodes, in real life they were there for the long haul.  Bullies don't go away after an episode or two, and broken hearts aren't mended by the following season.

Still, watching it now allows me to look back on things through rose-colored nostalgia glasses and enjoy it.  Because while, when you're young, EVERY problem is an "end of the world" type problem that you're certain you'll never recover from, I know now that in the grand scheme of things it will all pass, and that life goes on.  I know how to be honest and communicate with people now, to avoid the very drama I created and lived through back then.

So did TV really help ruin my life?  Only as a kid.  And if your life doesn't suck as a kid, at least a little, you typically grow up to be a shitty adult.   So yeah, in a roundabout way that was probably unintentional, I did learn a lot about life from that show, and ultimately, in the long run (y'know, real life) I came out better for it.

Updates, Clarifications, and Corrections...

So my last blog was largely well-recieved and I thank you all for taking the time to read it, but there were some misunderstandings and disagreements.

I'm totally cool with people disagreeing with me -- cocky as I may come across in these posts, I'm well aware that I don't know everything...  But I am trying to learn and I do my damndest to do the research to back up my thoughts and concepts.  If I'm wrong, I'm wrong.  I'll admit it, happily, and then adapt and change my way of thinking.  All I ask is the opportunity to defend my points, as I'm doing here.

Some people seem(ed) to think that my last post was in regards to high school dress codes (at least in part), which I can understand, but was not, in fact, the point.  But the dress-code commenters did make some interesting points, so I'd like to respond to them as they were valuable insights.

First off, I really don't have any issue with the concept of a dress-code at schools.

I agree that school is, in many ways, like a job.  You have rules you have to follow in order to succeed, and if you choose to ignore or go against those rules then you have to be prepared for the consequences.  I also agree that if high schoolers, as teen-agers and young-adults, wish to be taken seriously and treated like adults, then they should be prepared to face the consequences of their actions, good and bad.

All too often, children and teenagers have this attitude that grown-ups get to do whatever they want, which is so laughably untrue I'm tempted to just start randomly punching children out of sheer contempt.

But my filial-violence aside, I'm perfectly okay with reasonable dress-codes at schools.

Regrettably, existing dress codes perpetuate the very real gender stereotypes that exist in the U.S.

You can't deny that there's a tremendous male-privilege problem in the U.S. which manifests itself in any number of ways -- ranging from employment and wage inequality to straight up rape-encouragement.  Whether it's Matt Lauer being a dick to the CEO of GM or colleges failing to actually punish rapists.

(if you're looking for rage/murder fuel, feel free to click on any of last six words in the previous paragraph.  If you don't want to lose your faith in humanity and our educational system, don't...  Just don't)

And if you think that school dress codes don't encourage, support, or perpetuate gender stereotypes, take a second and just Google "high school dress codes."

(actually, don't bother - I've done it for you)

I can't speak for any of you, but a few observations I have about those images...

1. Girls are told not to wear "revealing clothing" while boys are told not to wear "inappropriate slogans/logos."
2. Girls are told not to wear short skirts or shorts, while boys are told not to wear saggy, baggy pants.
3. Girls are told not to have exposed midriffs, boys are told not to have gang tattoos.
4. Girls can't have spaghetti strap shirts, boys can't have wallet-chains.

Add this all up, and to me, at least, we have schools telling girls not to dress "provacatively," and boys can't look...  I don't know, like "thugs." 

(yes, I put that in quotes.  I did it because I couldn't think of a better term.  Quite frankly I think it's a completely stupid look/style to begin with, but I don't know what the politically correct term for it is these days, and that's not the point of this post anyway)

"Aha!"  I hear many of you saying (whatever you're reading this blog on has a microphone, I'm sure), "those rules apply equally to boys as well as girls!  Surely the boys aren't allowed to run around topless, either!"

Normally, I'd agree with you...

And then I found this.

That photo came out of the same yearbook that photoshopped extra clothing onto girls for the sake of "modesty."  

So are girls' dress-codes the same thing as "slut shaming?"  Not in and of themselves, no.  But like so many things it all comes down to how they're executed and enforced.  When boys/males are encouraged to rebel, whether consciously or subconsciously, while the girls are secretly covered up, you've really gotta ask what message the administration is trying to send.

And just like how high school is used to help transition children into young-adulthood and teach them the ways of the grown-up world beyond academia, that male-female double-standard teaches them that men can do things that women can't.  That boys don't get into trouble when they break the rules -- they're celebrated for it, while girls who haven't even broken the rules (but could be said to come close to doing so) are forced to change (either after the fact, with photoshop; or directly, with public humiliation and being sent home).  

Is it the end of the world?  No.  Not at all.

Is it as harsh as other forms of discrimination?  Not as such, no.

Is it as extreme as letting admitted rapists walk free?  Good gods, no.

But every time a boy sees that he can get away with something that a girl can't, he learns.  Whether consciously or unconsciously, he learns that the rules are not the same for boys and girls.  He learns that he can do things that earn him an "atta boy" and a chuck on the shoulder that a girl would be chided for.  

Add all of those little instances up, and suddenly that boy has grown into a man that has never seen women as equals because he's never been shown that women are equals.

It's not just dress codes...  It's the constant combination of societal norms and mores that creates the sexism that runs rampant throughout our society today.  

But even village-destroying avalanches start with the tiniest of pebbles rolling downhill.

So instead of ignoring "the little things," why don't we simply address them and fix the problem?  If they're such small problems as to be considered insignificant, they should be easily fixed.

And if they're not so easily fixed, they're a bigger problem than we're willing to admit, and need to be fixed anyway.

Either way, fix the damn problem.

(I'm really coming to appreciate logic in my old age...  Now that I'm starting to understand it and learning how to use it)

A rebuttal...

An open response to Jessica Huseman and her charming article Sorry, But A 15-Year Old in Jorts Isn't Going To Tell Me What RapeCulture Is.

Congratulations -- you are now, officially, no longer part of the solution, you are now part of the problem.

First off, before I go anywhere else with this, I have to acknowledge that yes, I am a male, and yes, I am going to be talking about rape-culture.  I know I may seem oddly unqualified for this (the presence of a penis seems to immediately put people on edge about one's qualifications to talk about it objectively), but I hope that I am not misunderstood.  I am a staunch ally of the LGBTQ community and also a feminist and I'd like to think that even if I don't yet fully comprehend the problem, I at least know that there is one, it is massive, and it is going to take a lot of work from EVERYBODY (especially those who are genitally-inclined as I am) to correct it.

That being said, I have read the Huseman article several times now, hoping like hell that this was one of those ironic articles -- something that you'd normally find on The Onion, or even perhaps The Stranger, on the opinions page (and please, someone correct me if I did just miss the point).  Regrettably, she seems sincere in her words.

Which, going back to the beginning, has now made her part of the problem.

For those of you too lazy to read the article (and I don't blame you if you don't -- it has literally enraged me to the point where I couldn't stop thinking about it until I wrote this blog post when I should be actually working), it basically derides the actions of Lindsey Stocker of Quebec, Canada for having the teenage audacity to post signs around her school reading "Don't humiliate her because she's wearing shorts.  It's hot outside.  Instead of shaming girls for their bodies, teach boys that girls are not sexual objects."

I KNOW, RIGHT!?  How stupidly senseless can a teenage girl BE!?  She's actually speaking OUT about something that MATTERS to her and could potentially make an IMPACT!?  Oh, ho ho ho...  Those wacky high-schoolers.  Don't they know nobody cares what they think?

At least, that's (only partially) what Jessica Huseman seems to think, and (again, only some of) what she says in her article.

First off, I don't think any grown woman attacking a teenaged girl for standing up for herself deserves to be taken seriously.  Period.  According to your bio you're a fellow of investigative journalism at Columbia Journalism school.  In theory, at least, you're a grown-up.  You probably pay taxes, have bills, have a home of your own in some way, shape, or form...  And you're attacking a 15 year old girl who stood up for herself.

Over the Internet.

Without even bothering to...  y'know, do the journalistic thing and, I don't know, CALL HER YOURSELF and TALK TO HER before you make wild assumptions about her and her classmates based on the banality of Twitter and the 160 character asininity contained therein.

So right there, we have a problem.  You're openly cyber-bullying a girl you don't know, and you're doing it through a fairly major publication like The Daily Banter.  Congratulations, you're a high-class internet troll.

(you're also a grown woman using the term "jorts."  Frankly, anybody who uses the term "jorts" should be force-fed several pairs of them until they get their lazy asses in gear and start actually saying "jean shorts" or simply "shorts."  "Jort" is not a word.  At best it's an onomatopoeic of the sound made when you're trying to squeeze out a fart quietly so nobody notices, and fail)  

Now on to the meaty center of the argument.

See, some time ago it was pointed out/explained to me that media and modern society/culture intentionally creates antagonistic relationships between women.  There are several theories behind why this is -- some speculate that "the powers that be" are trying to keep women at each other's throats, rather than banding together to fight their true enemies.  Some claim that it's instinctive and that since women outnumber men globally, they MUST fight each other in order to acquire the alpha males of their community (short version:  it's biological/anthropological). 

But whatever the reason, there's really no hiding the fact that women are typically aimed at each other when angered.  They form cliques and ostracize the girls that are different, taking cues from a male-dominated media to determine what's "in" and then excluding the girls who aren't doing what the men in their lives order them to do or behave the way their "supposed" to behave (whether the orders are given subliminally or overtly).

Nevertheless, what Huseman does in her article is just that -- she's attacking a woman who bothered to stand up for herself. 

Not even a woman, a girl. 

(granted, she's 15, but I don't really want to get into a whole debate about when girls become women and the whole child-bearing age vs. societal norms for adulthood etc. etc. etc.  She's 15, she's a girl)

Now I remember how hard it was for me, as a boy, at 15 to stand up and assert myself at anything.  And I was a boy.  A white boy.  A middle-class white boy.  Basically, the world was my turnip and I was still scared shitless of it.  So I can only imagine the terror of what it would be like to be going through that same experience as a girl. 

But she did it.  Lindsey Stocker took a stance against the status quo that told her "Your shorts are too short, that's inappropriate, you have to change them." 

First off -- I think she's absolutely right in her stance.  Telling a girl she has to "cover up" or "change" because she's being "too revealing" is fucking ridiculous.  There are extremes (there always are), but there are plenty of pictures (even one in Huseman's article) that show what Lindsey was wearing and (to me, at least) it wasn't a revealing outfit in any way, shape, or form.  It's not like she was parading around in a sheer bodysuit and fishnets -- she was wearing a sweater and shorts. 

Whoopdee

Fucking

Do.

And I also agree with the over-arching societal message that we shouldn't be telling women to cover up, we should be teaching men that women ARE NOT FUCKING PLAYTHINGS TO BE OGLED AND STARED AT. 

Women are not here for you.  They are not objects to be won.  They are not treasures to be captured.  They are human fucking beings.  Period. 

So rather than teaching women to "cover themselves," we should really be teaching men, expecially boys (y'know, during that whole developmental stage when they learn things and shit?), that women are to be respected and treated as equals.  Much like the topless initiatives that seek to de-sexualize breasts, human bodies are all composed of the same parts.  Everybody's look different, but they're still the same thing.  A dick is a dick.  Tits are tits.  No matter how big or small they are (that goes for both of the aforementioned parts).  There's nothing sexual about any body part, inherently, because literally ANY body part CAN be sexual -- it all depends on how you use it (and if you have any clue what you're doing with it).

So back to the topic at hand -- Miss Huseman and Miss Stocker. 

I think MORE young girls should be taught to stand up for themselves and assert their humanity and demand their equality like Miss Stocker did, because it's going to take a lot of hammering the point home to get it through society's thick skull.  I think we really do need to change the national talking points -- get away from asking "what was she wearing" and start asking "what the fuck was he thinking" when we hear stories of rape, gropings, unwanted advances, stalking, domestic abuse...  The list is truly, mind-bogglingly, regrettably, endless. 

And as important as that, we need to stand together.  I'm not saying you have to agree, necessarily, with everything being said.  But rather than openly and cruelly attacking someone (as Miss Huseman did), talk to that person, instead, and try to understand more of what they're saying and doing.  At least do that before you go out in the open and decide to viciously unload on some brave girl who did what she thought was right (and, in my opinion, was right and incredibly brave for her to do so). 

Because now that you've attacked another woman, you're now a part of the problem, Jessica.  You're a tool for the oppressors.  Worse yet, you've done their job for them. 

Congratulations.  I hope it was worth it.  Because I know I can never take anything you write seriously ever again.  And I'm sure I'm not alone. 

Shannon Lee...

...needs to get a job.

Like, a real job, like the rest of us have.  She used to have one - her IMDB page  shows that she has been both an actress and a producer; according to her Wikipedia page she has been a professional singer and is currently married to a lawyer.  The point is that she's not untalented and should, by all rights, be able to secure gainful employment somewhere.

The reason why I bring it up is because I recently saw this and my head just about exploded.

To go back a few steps:  I'm sure you all (you who read this) know that I'm an avid martial artist, and as such, I happen to idolize Bruce Lee both as a man and as a martial artist.  His work was unparalleled before and since, and he continues to inspire people to this day, despite the fact that his films are now 40 years old.

(You know why there are Chuck Norris jokes but no Bruce Lee jokes?  'Cause Bruce Lee ain't no joke...)

(When Chuck Norris goes to bed at night, he checks the closet for Bruce Lee)

(Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, which is a shame 'cause Chuck never cries...  Not since Bruce Lee MADE him cry)

(I could go on and on because Chuck Norris is an embarrassment to both America and the martial arts world, but you get the idea)

So I follow The Bruce Lee Foundation on Facebook and am on their mailing list.  I joined because I genuinely respect and revere the man and am always looking to learn more about the legend who altered the course of martial arts forever. 

The Bruce Lee Foundation is, unsurprisingly, run by his daughter Shannon.

Now at first I didn't think anything of it.  I honestly figured who would be better suited to carry on his legacy than his only living child?  Certainly she would have access to his friends and her mother, Bruce's wife Linda, that would allow her to glean knowledge and information about the man that so many of us all idolize, and then share that knowledge.  After all, if you read any of Bruce's texts you'll see that it was one of his greatest desires to share the martial arts with the world around him.  To encourage more people to take advantage of the immense benefits of study and practice, and enjoy the beauty of the arts themselves as well as the beauty they bring out in their practitioners.  He truly was an advocate for the common man because he knew very, very well that the study and practice of martial arts made ordinary men extraordinary, and he thought that we all had limitless untapped potential within us, if only we were willing to work to achieve it.

So yeah, I'm a fanboy.  What can I say? 

So I was all excited to be on the mailing list and follow the site on Facebook and I anxiously awaited some bit of knowledge or obscure quote that was previously lost or hidden, or maybe even word on when (if?) there was ever going to be an official Bruce Lee Museum...

Then I got an ad for a sweatshirt with the Bruce Lee, Jeet Kun Do logo on it for sale for "only" $55.

($55!?  For a SWEATSHIRT!?  Maybe it's a fundraiser to make money for the museum...  Well, it does say that "A portion of the proceeds from all orders benefits the Bruce Lee Foundation," so that's cool...)

(Wait, no, that's almost surely intentionally vague.  Shannon runs The Bruce Lee Foundation -- she practically IS The Bruce Lee Foundation.  She could easily just be pocketing that shit and making money riding her father's coattails.  And how much of "a portion," exactly, is going to the foundation and how much is going into Shannon's bank account?  Questions without answers...)

I stayed on the group and checked the website for more information about the Bruce Lee Action Museum only to find that the site itself is incomplete and they're not really any closer to actually getting to work on, y'know, BUILDING THE MUSEUM.

(I also began to take note that all of the Bruce Lee websites were registered as dot-coms and not dot-orgs...  A minor thing, to be sure, but important to note as my understanding goes that dot-orgs are reserved for nonprofit organizations while dot-coms are for everything else...)

As time went on, I kept getting more and more products pushed on me.  Hoodies for $79.  Medallions  for $140. (Although you can get the medallion itself with no chain for only $90...  Wait, what the holy fuck is that chain made out of!?  Bruce's bones?!)  T-shirts ranging in price from as low as $35 up to $45.

I'm no stranger to corporate branding and the idea that a logo or brand is worth cash.  I know I'm going to pay extra for shoes that have a Jordan logo on them than I would for a pair that has a Batman logo on them.

(to be fair, though, I actually BOUGHT the shoes with the Batman logo on them because Batman would kick the shit outta Jordan at 1 on 1.  Hell, Batman could beat the entire lineup of the 1991-1998 Chicago Bulls all by himself.  He's the goddamn Batman, that's what he does)

But it's one thing to charge double or even triple for a piece of clothing, or work with a jeweler to craft a custom, one-at-a-time-made piece of jewelry...

This is something completely different.

If you didn't click the link, don't feel bad - I'll just tell you where it leads.  What you see there is a notebook.  Commonly referred to as a "moleskine," pocket-sized at 3.5" by 5.5", and this one features a gold-colored Bruce Lee silhouette jump-kicking, and his autograph below it.

(not his real autograph, just a reproduction.  I'd happily pay that price and more for a REAL Bruce Lee autograph)

Inside you will find white paper, lined, and on the first page is an inspirational quote from Bruce himself that I will now print for you here:

"Learning is a constant process of discovery - a process without end."

The inside of the notebook also features a Bruce silhouette on the first page, and this fabulous notebook is yours for only $27.

Twenty Seven Dollars.

For a NOTEBOOK.

Now you could just as easily go here on amazon and buy THREE of those exact same notebooks, then go here and buy a gold paint-pen and draw your own jump-kicking Bruce silhouette, and then donate the remaining $15 directly to The Bruce Lee Foundation and you'll STILL GET MORE FOR YOUR MONEY because you'll have THREE notebooks instead of one.

So yeah, this shit's gotta stop.

I've been a fan of Bruce Lee since I first learned who he was, and his philosophies and teachings have largely shaped not just my martial arts life, but my personal life as well.  There are no end of wonderful stories from the people who knew him best (which doesn't actually include Shannon - more on that in a second) about what a kind, and actually gentle man he was (when he wasn't kicking the shit out of someone).  I'm not going to paint him as some kind of saint - he had his demons like the rest of us do.  Hell, I'd be willing to wager that his demons were larger and more powerful than most ordinary peoples' because he did so much and went so far.  But I genuinely feel that what he gave to the world and how he helped shape and influence countless individuals far outweighs the pain he brought upon people.

(I know, it's easy for me to say that because I didn't know him, I wasn't married to him, and I never had the opportunity to work with him, so please take all this for what it's worth as a fanboy talking about an idol)

And I genuinely have ZERO problem with Shannon trying to promote her father's work and his influence on the world.  I think it's wonderful that (in theory, anyway) there's going to be a museum devoted to him -- we need one.  But spend a bit of time reading around the myriad websites that she owns in her father's name and she comes across (to me, at least) as "the keeper of the keys," like she somehow had this incredible connection and knew him best.

Um...  She was FOUR YEARS OLD when he died.  My own father passed away when I was NINE and I openly admit that I barely knew him.  It saddens me to this day that I didn't get more time with him, and I bug the hell out of my family as much as I think they'll put up with for stories about my father because I fully accept the fact that THEY KNEW HIM BEST.

Now granted, I'm sure Shannon's getting a lot of input from her mother, Linda, and that counts for a lot.  But where's the input from Dan Inosanto, Terry Glover, or Ted Wong?  How about Jerry Poteet, Patrick Strong, Steve Golden or Richard Bustillo?  Those guys were Bruce's first students and knew him for years, as both students and contemporaries.  These are the men who helped Bruce build his legacy and refine his art.  These men are all still alive today and would have invaluable knowledge to pass on, and (I think) they all do already as instructors of their own schools. 

So in the future, for those readers of mine who are martial artists themselves, I urge you to be very wary of anything that has the "Official Bruce Lee Stamp of Approval" on it.  Spend your money however you want, but just be aware of the fact that less of your dollar might be going to the museum or his legacy than it is to Shannon's pocket, and making money really wasn't Bruce's style.

 

"Sure money is important in providing for my family and giving us what we want.  But it isn't everything."

"Money is an indirect matter.  The direct matter is your ability, or what you are going to do that counts.  If that comes, the indirect things will follow."

"A child must be taught early that money is only a means, a type of usefulness, an implement.  Like all instruments it has certain purposes, but it will not do everything.  One must learn how to use it, what it will do, but above all what it will not do."

"At one time I wanted all the indirect things; money, fame, the big opening nights...  Now I have it, or am beginning to get it, the whole thing doesn't seem important anymore.  I have found that doing a thing is more important.  I am having fun doing it.  Money comes second." 

All quotes from Bruce Lee, from the book "Striking Thoughts"

Kickstarter...

...is dead. 

Or dying, at least.

If nothing else, It has crested the peak of greatness and is on a downward slope to irrelevance.

Why?  I hear you asking...

(which is really weird, 'cause this is a computer...  I hope I don't have a paracusia)

(look it up, genius)

It's quite simple, really.  Rich people are co-opting and stealing it from the poor, starving artists. 

I'm not terribly surprised by this, and it's not like this just started; it's been going on for a while now.  It is only just recently that I really noticed it.

(and considering how behind the times I am when it comes to social media and crowdsourcing, the fact that it caught MY attention means it is probably a good three to five times worse than I think it is)

You see, once upon a time there was this fabulous idea that artists and creators could hit people up for money directly with the promises of rewards in exchange for providing the capital necessary to accomplish their next great works.  It was like during the renaissance when artists would get a commission from some wealthy benefactor who would dump a load of cash on them and say "Here's some cash, I would like some art, please."  And then the artist would go off and sculpt or paint or both and then give that thing to the person who gave them money.  Then they'd go back to begging or something until someone else came along and the process would repeat itself. 

The really great artists would have people lined up to give them money in exchange for art.

The mediocre artists had to go around and advertise or otherwise hit people up for work.

So Kickstarter was like the unknown artists saying "I have this great art I wanna make, but I don't have the means or materials.  If just, like, a thousand people give me just one dollar, you'll all get some art and I'll get to make it.  Sound like a deal?"

It's digital panhandling at its finest.

But then, like they always do, the richers had to come along and fuck it all up.

When an already-wealthy artist, musician, or creator pops up online and says "Hey everybody!  Give us money and we'll do what we're already fabulously wealthy for doing!" it kinda ruins the whole vibe of it. 

The realization hit me when I noticed a Twitter from Scott Kurtz (yes I have a Twitter, I just suck as posting to it, shut up)  talking about how his Kickstarter campaign was just about to hit the $30,000 mark and let him publish another book.

Now frankly, I love Scott Kurtz.  I've read all of PVP more than once, I've met the man in person and he is an absolute sweetheart of a guy who's super nice, super friendly, and super cool. 

(he drew a sketch for me for free once!  GLEEEEEEE!!)  

But he's also the creator and sole proprietor of what is arguably the second most popular webcomic in existence.  He runs two websites now with two comics.  He has a whole store full of posters, shirts, messenger bags, and has already published his collected strips several times over.  He is so cool that Penny Arcade asked him to move up to Seattle from Texas to share an office with them so they could all hang out together while they work, and he did it.

(although really, that couldn't have taken much convincing -- Texas and Florida are in a non-stop competition for who gets to be named the tenth ring of hell, so how much does it take to say "Move out of a shithole to one of the best places in the US?")

I could go on, but I think you get the picture.  The guy is wildly successful and I wish him even more success because I'm a fan and I love his work.

But he doesn't need a Kickstarter campaign.

If he wants to publish a book, all he has to do is call one of the publishers he's already worked with and say "Hi, I'm hugely popular and I wanna make a book.  If you want in on this cash cow, publish it for me" and then throw down the phone and walk away like a badass because he's SCOTT FUCKING KURTZ.  And on the off chance that the publishers say no, he can take his own money and just self-publish. 

(and then laugh at the moron who is undoubtedly now turning tricks in dark alleys to pay the rent after being  fired for saying no to SCOTT FUCKING KURTZ)

(seriously, I love the guy so much that I think from now on that's just how he should be addressed.  Maybe I'll hit him up and see what he thinks, he once responded to a tweet I sent about him!)

I've also seen Kickstarter campaigns for big name bands, like Pearl Jam. 
(shut up, I like Pearl Jam, and considering the fact that rock and roll peaked in 1994, I don't see this as a problem or reason to make fun of me)

(especially when there are so many more reasons to make fun of me)

Again, Pearl Jam doesn't need Kickstarter because they're Pearl Jam.  They're already fabulously wealthy rock stars (like Scott Kurtz) who already get paid a ton of money to do something that they love and are good at.  I'm not trying to take anything away from them or even dare to say they haven't earned every penny of it.  I'm just saying that they've already reached a level of popularity and success where they can either already afford to do what they want any time they want to express themselves creatively, or they can find someone to bankroll it for them.

We unknowns down here at the bottom don't have that luxury.

That's why Kickstarter was such an awesome idea for us.

I first learned about it at the 2012 Emerald City Comic Con when I went to a panel on "How to get your game published."  I thought I was going to hear from industry experts and editors at major publishing houses on how to brand and market your game to get the attention of the big boys, but it turned out to be 45-minutes of masturbation by people at the front of the room saying "Just run a Kickstarter campaign."  It was less "How to get your game published" and more of "Here's how to beg for money on the internet," but the idea was sound.  If you're poor and have no exposure but really and truly believe in your product, hit people up online and see if you can get them to help pay for it.

Suddenly the world was open to artists of all shapes and sizes in all mediums.  It was wonderful to see so many people doing so many cool things, and hey, for $10 you could get some kick ass games or merchandise or toys or whatever.  Hell, the Metawatch got founded on Kickstarter, raising over a million dollars after all the major manufacturers told 'em to bugger off.

But then things changed...

When rich people discovered that they could simply parlay their already massive wealth and popularity into getting people to pre-buy their stuff, it weakened the structure for all of us nobodies out there. 

After all, if Pearl Jam could simply hit up their millions of fans for $5 each to crank out an album in exchange for a digital copy, they've risked nothing and gained everything -- literally, everything, because they're capitalizing on an established fanbase to pay them.  If I asked a million people for $5 to write my next novel in exchange for a free digital copy, I don't think I'd make the obligatory $5 from my mom.

(but that's probably more because she doesn't know what Kickstarter is, but that's beside the point) 

But I'm willing to bet that if Stephen King promised his fans a free digital copy of his next book if they all just kicked in $1.99 straight into his pockets, he'd have a million dollars in less than 30 days.

Look, Kickstarter isn't dead yet, it's just pooping a little blood.  It can still be saved as the pure, beautiful thing that it was created to be, but it's gonna take you, faithful reader.

(or maybe readers?  I think there's more than one of you out there reading this shit, right?)

Stop financing the popular kids. 

Stop giving money to people who already have it.

Let's not kid ourselves, if you're a fan of someone you're already going to spend your money getting their shit (or pirating it for free), and if they're already popular enough to have a massive fan base, why do they need your money that much faster/easier anyway?  Make them earn it, just a little bit, like those of us at the bottom have to.  Give your money to people you don't know for new shit you didn't even know you wanted. 

Go find someone looking for money to finance their budding, burgeoning webcomic; not the second most powerful guy on the internet. 

(please Scott, if you ever read this, don't hate me).

Go find a band that's still sucking it up in dive bars or garage-gigs to pay for some studio time so they can put out an album; not some household name that defined a generation and is still going strong and doesn't need your money.  

(I'm absolutely certain that nobody in Pearl Jam is ever going to read this blog, so I don't care if they get pissed at me for calling them out)

Go find a new novelist who's looking to create the next Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, not the master of horror and arguably the most prolific writer of the last three decades who could drunkenly scribble on a cocktail napkin and have it be a best seller.  

(there's like, less than a 1% chance of King ever reading this blog, but I'm gonna play it safe and go light on him here - also, he's one of my biggest influences and favorite cool guys to read about and keep up on)

(and now that I've written that last paragraph, I'm gonna have to look into Kickstartering my next novel that I'm working on...  Stay tuned!)

Look, short version?  If you already know and love somebody and their work, just put their Kickstarters on a back burner and support the nobody's first.  Make sure that we're actually encouraging NEW shit to get out into the atmosphere because all those guys you already know and love were there themselves. 

They already "made it."  Help give someone else a chance to become your new favorite.

Please?

Here, start with these guys.  Or these guys.  Or even these guys.  Give it a shot, you never know what you'll find and love.

The United States of America...

...is killing you.  Or it will, probably.

Literally.

You see, recently I was pointed to this article by a very close, dear, beautiful friend of mine and I commented on it, briefly, then tried not to think about it.

And failed.

My initial comment to her was:

"As much as I loved the article, I had a hard time giving credibility to anything after "...a research trip to Japan."  ...I've been to Japan, I tried to eat everything I could get my hands on and I still lost weight. From what I understand, everybody who ever leaves the country begins feeling better and losing weight within a month of doing so...pretty much EVERY OTHER COUNTRY ON THE PLANET has healthier food than we do. Coupled with the fact that nearly EVERY OTHER COUNTRY ON THE PLANET has better public transportation, which leads to people spending more time walking and on their feet (thus giving them natural exercise outlets because they're up and mobile for large chunks of their day)."

As I said, I failed at forgetting about this article and have decided to get it out of my brain by writing it all down.

So I started by doing a little bit of research and found this.

Luckily the US is not, necessarily, the fattest nation on the planet, but let's examine that list for a sec...  The only people outranking the US are those chains of pacific islands wherein the population is genetically predisposed to obesity (which is backed up by historical documentation), and then the oddballs like Egypt, Qatar, Belize, and and Kuwait...places with notable numbers of American expats, but as I always like to say, "post hoc ergo propter hoc," so let's not jump to conclusions.

I then did a quick Google search for "cleanest food in the world" and discovered several interesting links that made for some fascinating research.  I'll save you the time (unless you're already searching yourself and not reading this, in which case you wouldn't even see this line...unless you already searched and have since come back to this page and read it in the past...) and sum up a few key points for you...

Out of 178 countries ranked by the Environmental Performance Index (hosted by the brilliant minds at Yale), the US comes in at 33; right after Belarus and right before Malta.  33 out of 178 isn't bad, right?  That's in the top 19%, a healthy B-minus on an academic scale...

But then you look at who's above us and the facepalming and head-shaking starts to set in...

Serbia?  Aren't there, like, massive wars going on there all the time between them and Croatia?

Japan?  They have some of the highest population density on the planet - all those people are eating, smoking, and pooping in such close proximity to each other that they're practically eating, smoking, and pooping on each other...

The United Arab Emirates?  How can a country that's 90% sand and dust be considered "cleaner" than the US, with our purple mountains majesty about our fruited plains?

Singapore?  I thought they were all dirt-farmers and buddhist monks living in poverty over there (that's what the TV tells me, anyway).  How are they cleaner than the US?

But those rankings are simply for "cleanest country," right?   That doesn't mean that they're necessarily healthier, happier, or have better food that us, right? 

Well according to this charming little ranking they certainly have better water than us (notice how the US isn't even vaguely mentioned on "clean tap water" rankings?  Someone call West Virginia - I wanna know why we don't have clean water)

But something about those two rankings sparked another memory deep in my brain...  I did a little bit more research and came up with a veritable bevy of websites from which I made a number of surprising discoveries...

The happiest people in the world live in the Nordic countries.  

(maybe it has something to do with the cold weather, 'cause Canada also outranks the US in overall prosperity and happiness...)

The cleanest countries in the world are European -- almost entirely.  

(maybe because they don't have a lot of...heavy industry?  Yeah, that must be it.  Ever since they closed down those Dickensian sweat-shops we all read about in high school they can't help but get cleaner, right?)

The healthiest countries in the world are...again, almost entirely European.

(aside from the oddballs like Canada, Japan, Singapore, Hong Kong, Israel...  Wait, Israel!?  How'd they make the top 20?  Aren't they at war right now with Palestine or something?  How can a country in a perpetual state of war be among the top 20 healthiest countries in the world?)

So while that was all sinking in, I remembered what I was supposed to be writing about and went and did a little research on where our food came from.

Turns out the answer is "here."

(not "here" literally - my computer doesn't manufacture food...yet)

85% of all the food consumed (by volume) in the United States comes from right here in the United States.

Well that's not bad, right?  Hooray for self-sufficiency!

But then you start to think about all of those other little research points I just posted above and you've gotta wonder...

Are we really killing ourselves with our food?

I know there's a lot of kerfluffle going on right now over genetically-modified crops and, quite frankly, I think it's all over-generalized in the interest of rabble-rousing.  After all, human beings have been genetically modifying crops since we invented agriculture.  Ever notice how plants that grow in the wild look pretty much nothing like they do on farms?  Yeah, that's genetic modification.  Even the "all natural" or "organic" farmers are growing food that's genetically radically different than free-range fruits and vegetables, so get over yourself.  If you really wanna be all hardcore hippie vegan anti-genetic-modification, go try living a hunter-gatherer lifestyle.  No, having your own organic garden in your backyard doesn't count, go trek up in the mountains and eat whatever you find.  Let me know how it goes.

Now, that's not to say that there isn't some hinky shit going on in our food supplies.  It's no secret that the FDA has some rather loose guidelines regarding industrial waste and what percentage of our food is allowed to be feces, but above and beyond that we DO have the highest amount of GMO food on the planet on our plates.   69 million hectares of farmland in the US is dedicated to GMO foods, which is almost as much as the next four highest countries COMBINED.

(fascinatingly, we also have higher military spending than the next four highest countries COMBINED, and we're also number one in the world in incarceration rates.  'MURICA!  FUCK YEAH!)

So it quickly appears as if there is something in our food and water that's making us unhealthy and violent, but I also remembered a couple more things...  Specifically regarding public transportation.

As many of you know, I am a HUGE fan of trains.  I fell in love with them while living in Japan as they are far and away the most efficient mode of transportation, both economically and ecologically. 

But wait! I hear you saying (which is really weird because this is the internet)  New York is on that list of great public transit systems!

Very true...  But it's important to note that according to this guy people in New York live almost two years longer than other people in the US, and you're also simply less likely to die in New York than anywhere else in the country. 

(and he's from Harvard -- apparently they make smart people there...  or so I've heard)

So what does it all mean?

(this is already my longest blog-post yet -- bordering on actually being something more akin to an "article" than a "blog post," so if anybody wants to buy it and/or pay me for it, just let me know)

Well let's add it all up.

The happiest, healthiest places on the planet, on average:

• Are cold
• Have free healthcare
• Are constitutional monarchies with pariliaments and prime-ministers
• Have strong, highly-restrictive gun laws
• Eat a fraction of GMO foods
• Have massive, interconnected public transit/metro services

Put it all together and the problem isn't just one single thing -- our country itself, from our modes of transportation to the food we eat to many of the values that some people consider as integral to our national identity are all conspiring to kill you.

So the next time you want to lose weight, get healthy, or improve your quality of life and life-expectancy, sit down with a pen and paper and figure out exactly what your budget is...  Figure out how much money you have, how much you're willing to spend, how much more you'll make after you succeed and how much it's all worth to you...

Then take that much money and use it to move the hell away.  I hear Canada's nice, and it's close by!

99.9% of Martial Arts...

...magazines and ads are crap.

I'll explain.

You see, it's a very common trend for the more popular martial arts-related magazines to post picture after picture on their cover of screaming, angry men and women breaking things or hurting people.  Before the explosion in popularity of Ultimate Fighting and the MMA revolution ("MMA" itself being a vague-to-the-point-of-incomprehensible term) the covers all advertised secret deadly techniques, new combinations of moves that can hurt people more effectively and efficiently, and all kinds of recently developed, discovered, or declassified "secrets of the (blank)."

Flip through any one of these magazines.  For gods' sake don't buy one, but find a newsstand or grocery store where they won't hassle you for browsing and pick one up for a few minutes.  After watching a half-dozen subscription cards slide out onto the floor, I'm willing to bet the first thing you'll notice is that the magazines are roughly 70% advertisements.  Of the ads, roughly 70% of those are for equipment and gear (60% of which is aimed at children), 20% of the ads are for specific schools/styles, and then the last 10% of ads are for secretive new unnamed "martial arts" styles and systems that they GUARANTEE are the ultimate martial art and that if you just send in your ten easy payments of $29.99 they'll send you some combination of DVDs and books that they say will make ANYBODY a lethal weapon, ready to take on green berets, ninjas, terrorists, and muggers alike with ease.

Now what you WON'T find while casually flipping through this magazine is the kernel of truth that the editor includes to assuage their conscience about publishing 99% bullshit.  It's typically about ten pages in, right before the letters section. 

The editorial.

Now these editorials are practically the same anymore because they've run out of things to say (or they can't find new ways to say the same thing again and again and again), but like I said, it's only there for old-timers and newcomers.  They'll talk about the good old days, or how martial arts are evolving and changing, maybe they'll drop a name like Bill Wallace or Jim Kelly to give themselves some extra credit or make themselves sound important...  Frankly, it's gotten kind of depressing to read anymore. 

My point in all this?

Martial Arts Magazines aren't really about the martial arts.

You see, studying and practicing martial arts is a devotion to peace.  It's not about hurting people or fighting or going out and knocking the shit out of people, it's quite literally about the exact opposite.  The very best martial artists in the world only ever have to fight for real once or twice in their whole life.  Gichin Funakoshi, founder of Shotokan Karate and a legend in the martial arts world, only ever got into one fight in his whole life.  He was attacked by a mugger on the streets of Okinawa and he defended himself, but felt terrible about it.

That's the thing about TRUE martial artists -- they hate fighting.  People who know how to fight, don't.  Anybody who calls themselves a martial artist and enjoys fighting is lying to you, and you should call them a liar to their face. 

It's okay, those kinds of people typically take a week or two of free karate classes at the YMCA, order every UFC on pay-per-view, and somehow think that they know something when in reality they couldn't tell you the name of a single kata or legit instructor in their neighborhood.  If you call them a liar and they try to bully or threaten you they'll either back down and do nothing or they'll throw the world's sloppiest punch which you can dodge with a thought, or will break their hand if they actually connect.

Anyway, I'm starting to ramble here, so lemme bring it back around for you all...

Martial arts ARE an ever-evolving art-form.  Like any other art they're heavily influenced by the areas in which they're developed and the time, culture, and technology the founders or artists or developers are in, but throughout it all there are a few constants that you can count on:

1)  Martial arts are about peace.  Anybody who is violent is not a martial artist, they're bullies or brawlers.

2)  People who are good at it never have to prove it.

And finally 3) There is no one single style or form that is the be-all, end-all of self-defense and martial arts. 

This last point is quite a point of contention among many (if not most) of the existing teachers out there who fanatically guard their school and "secrets" because they've been doing it for so long that they can't imagine that there's anything wrong with what they do at all.  It's troubling, in many ways, because in 99% of existing martial arts schools around the country they are either openly hostile towards anybody who has different ideas/concepts/theories, or they're dismissive of alternatives.

It's understandable, to a point; after all - the style these teachers have devoted their lives to works beautifully for them, but because they've gotten so good at this one thing they think that it applies to all people equally when nothing could be further from the truth.  If there was one magic system that was equally effective for all people in all places and all situations, that one style would have long since eradicated all other styles and stolen all students for itself.  But the fact that you can typically find five entirely unique schools and styles being taught within a five mile radius of anywhere, we know this simply isn't true.

And that's what brings us to the revolution.

Like every generation, the newer, younger crowd grows and expands upon what they're taught by the previous generation.  It's only natural, of course, as more and more information becomes available and each person finds what works for them.  But what is really and truly necessary for actual growth in the field of martial arts is for this current generation to NOT fall into the same trap as the previous generation.

So to all current STUDENTS out there, I implore you to open up.  Share what you know, but also be willing to learn from ANYBODY - even complete strangers.  Listen and learn and then take what works and incorporate it into your own studies and practice.  NEVER stagnate and NEVER think for a second that you found "the style" for you.

As Bruce Lee said, "Using no way as way, having no limitation as limitation."

I'll close this with a story that illustrates this point perfectly:

Ip Man, the most prolific practitioner of Wing Chun Kung-Fu for several generations (arguably since Wing Chun herself invented the style) lost his whole life when the Japanese invaded China.  His wife, his children, his fortune, his home...  Everything.  He was reduced to living as a homeless man on the streets of Hong Kong until one day a local kung-fu teacher found him and, thinking to do his good deed for the day, invited this nameless bum off the streets to come live in his studio and serve as a janitor in exchange for room and board.  Ip Man took the young man up on his offer and lived in the school, sleeping in the corner just off of the practice floor.

One day the young master was giving a class and demonstrated a particular technique that he was quite proud of.  As he was giving instruction to the class, he heard laughter coming from the corner of the room...the small space where his "janitor" had made his bed for himself. 

The homeless man whom he had taken in off the street out of the goodness of his heart was laughing at him.  Openly mocking his kung-fu in front of his students.

Outraged, the young master invited the janitor onto the floor so he could demonstrate the technique upon him and shut him up.  The janitor tried to wave him off at first, but the young man had been insulted and he had to save face - for the honor of his school and the sake of his business.

The old janitor slowly got up and shuffled onto the floor to square off against the young man, who attacked with the speed and power expected of him...and promptly got knocked on his ass.

Outraged further, he stood up and attacked the old man again...and again ended up on his ass.

The old man just stood there smiling.

The young man was amazed -- he hadn't even seen the old man move, he was frail and weak, stick-thin and malnourished from his homelessness, and yet the young master couldn't touch him.

Before throwing him out onto the street he demanded to know the old man's name, so Ip Man told him.

And the young man summarily handed him the keys to the school and begged Ip Man to take him on as his disciple.

So for all my martial arts friends out there, remember:  The next time you meet someone who says they know a little something about martial arts, give them the chance to teach you something.  If nothing else, you'll feel more secure in your own knowledge.  But if you're lucky, you'll end up learning something new.