Wednesday, March 5, 2014

The United States of America...


...is killing you.  Or it will, probably.

Literally.

You see, recently I was pointed to this article by a very close, dear, beautiful friend of mine and I commented on it, briefly, then tried not to think about it.

And failed.

My initial comment to her was:

"As much as I loved the article, I had a hard time giving credibility to anything after "...a research trip to Japan."  ...I've been to Japan, I tried to eat everything I could get my hands on and I still lost weight. From what I understand, everybody who ever leaves the country begins feeling better and losing weight within a month of doing so...pretty much EVERY OTHER COUNTRY ON THE PLANET has healthier food than we do. Coupled with the fact that nearly EVERY OTHER COUNTRY ON THE PLANET has better public transportation, which leads to people spending more time walking and on their feet (thus giving them natural exercise outlets because they're up and mobile for large chunks of their day)."

As I said, I failed at forgetting about this article and have decided to get it out of my brain by writing it all down.

So I started by doing a little bit of research and found this.

Luckily the US is not, necessarily, the fattest nation on the planet, but let's examine that list for a sec...  The only people outranking the US are those chains of pacific islands wherein the population is genetically predisposed to obesity (which is backed up by historical documentation), and then the oddballs like Egypt, Qatar, Belize, and and Kuwait...places with notable numbers of American expats, but as I always like to say, "post hoc ergo propter hoc," so let's not jump to conclusions.

I then did a quick Google search for "cleanest food in the world" and discovered several interesting links that made for some fascinating research.  I'll save you the time (unless you're already searching yourself and not reading this, in which case you wouldn't even see this line...unless you already searched and have since come back to this page and read it in the past...) and sum up a few key points for you...

Out of 178 countries ranked by the Environmental Performance Index (hosted by the brilliant minds at Yale), the US comes in at 33; right after Belarus and right before Malta.  33 out of 178 isn't bad, right?  That's in the top 19%, a healthy B-minus on an academic scale...

But then you look at who's above us and the facepalming and head-shaking starts to set in...

Serbia?  Aren't there, like, massive wars going on there all the time between them and Croatia?

Japan?  They have some of the highest population density on the planet - all those people are eating, smoking, and pooping in such close proximity to each other that they're practically eating, smoking, and pooping on each other...

The United Arab Emirates?  How can a country that's 90% sand and dust be considered "cleaner" than the US, with our purple mountains majesty about our fruited plains?

Singapore?  I thought they were all dirt-farmers and buddhist monks living in poverty over there (that's what the TV tells me, anyway).  How are they cleaner than the US?

But those rankings are simply for "cleanest country," right?   That doesn't mean that they're necessarily healthier, happier, or have better food that us, right? 

Well according to this charming little ranking they certainly have better water than us (notice how the US isn't even vaguely mentioned on "clean tap water" rankings?  Someone call West Virginia - I wanna know why we don't have clean water)

But something about those two rankings sparked another memory deep in my brain...  I did a little bit more research and came up with a veritable bevy of websites from which I made a number of surprising discoveries...

The happiest people in the world live in the Nordic countries.  
(maybe it has something to do with the cold weather, 'cause Canada also outranks the US in overall prosperity and happiness...)

The cleanest countries in the world are European -- almost entirely.  
(maybe because they don't have a lot of...heavy industry?  Yeah, that must be it.  Ever since they closed down those Dickensian sweat-shops we all read about in high school they can't help but get cleaner, right?)

The healthiest countries in the world are...again, almost entirely European.
(aside from the oddballs like Canada, Japan, Singapore, Hong Kong, Israel...  Wait, Israel!?  How'd they make the top 20?  Aren't they at war right now with Palestine or something?  How can a country in a perpetual state of war be among the top 20 healthiest countries in the world?)

So while that was all sinking in, I remembered what I was supposed to be writing about and went and did a little research on where our food came from.

Turns out the answer is "here."
(not "here" literally - my computer doesn't manufacture food...yet)

85% of all the food consumed (by volume) in the United States comes from right here in the United States.
Well that's not bad, right?  Hooray for self-sufficiency!

But then you start to think about all of those other little research points I just posted above and you've gotta wonder...

Are we really killing ourselves with our food?

I know there's a lot of kerfluffle going on right now over genetically-modified crops and, quite frankly, I think it's all over-generalized in the interest of rabble-rousing.  After all, human beings have been genetically modifying crops since we invented agriculture.  Ever notice how plants that grow in the wild look pretty much nothing like they do on farms?  Yeah, that's genetic modification.  Even the "all natural" or "organic" farmers are growing food that's genetically radically different than free-range fruits and vegetables, so get over yourself.  If you really wanna be all hardcore hippie vegan anti-genetic-modification, go try living a hunter-gatherer lifestyle.  No, having your own organic garden in your backyard doesn't count, go trek up in the mountains and eat whatever you find.  Let me know how it goes.

Now, that's not to say that there isn't some hinky shit going on in our food supplies.  It's no secret that the FDA has some rather loose guidelines regarding industrial waste and what percentage of our food is allowed to be feces, but above and beyond that we DO have the highest amount of GMO food on the planet on our plates.   69 million hectares of farmland in the US is dedicated to GMO foods, which is almost as much as the next four highest countries COMBINED.
(fascinatingly, we also have higher military spending than the next four highest countries COMBINED, and we're also number one in the world in incarceration rates.  'MURICA!  FUCK YEAH!)

So it quickly appears as if there is something in our food and water that's making us unhealthy and violent, but I also remembered a couple more things...  Specifically regarding public transportation.

As many of you know, I am a HUGE fan of trains.  I fell in love with them while living in Japan as they are far and away the most efficient mode of transportation, both economically and ecologically. 
But wait! I hear you saying (which is really weird because this is the internet)  New York is on that list of great public transit systems!

Very true...  But it's important to note that according to this guy people in New York live almost two years longer than other people in the US, and you're also simply less likely to die in New York than anywhere else in the country. 
(and he's from Harvard -- apparently they make smart people there...  or so I've heard)

So what does it all mean?
(this is already my longest blog-post yet -- bordering on actually being something more akin to an "article" than a "blog post," so if anybody wants to buy it and/or pay me for it, just let me know)
Well let's add it all up.

The happiest, healthiest places on the planet, on average:
  • Are cold
  • Have free healthcare
  • Are constitutional monarchies with pariliaments and prime-ministers
  • Have strong, highly-restrictive gun laws
  • Eat a fraction of GMO foods
  • Have massive, interconnected public transit/metro services
Put it all together and the problem isn't just one single thing -- our country itself, from our modes of transportation to the food we eat to many of the values that some people consider as integral to our national identity are all conspiring to kill you.

So the next time you want to lose weight, get healthy, or improve your quality of life and life-expectancy, sit down with a pen and paper and figure out exactly what your budget is...  Figure out how much money you have, how much you're willing to spend, how much more you'll make after you succeed and how much it's all worth to you...

Then take that much money and use it to move the hell away.  I hear Canada's nice, and it's close by!


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