So I started writing
this blog post last week, actually, and it turned into this massive thesis-type
paper of 10+ pages that I figured was inappropriately long for a blog post, so
here's the abridged version. If you're
interested in reading the more thought-out and detailed version, email me and
I'll be happy to send it to you.
Victim-blaming has become an all-encompassing aspect of our
culture here in the states.
Whether it's slut-shaming girls for being so audacious as to
get raped; claiming that if poor people simply worked harder they'd cease to be
poor; or even throwing race into the mix and saying that "black
culture" is inherently self-destructive and that they bring their own
misfortunes upon themselves, it's very clear that a good portion of time and
energy is being spent pointing the finger at victims of misfortune and telling
them that "If only you..."
But why them? Why
does this happen? How is this even a
thing? We're rounding the corner into
the tail-end of 2014 -- shouldn't we, as a race of human beings, have grown
beyond this imaginary blame-game and learned to actually address the real
issues plaguing our society?
To figure out why it happens, it's important to realize
where it started, so that we can get to the root of the problem and excise it.
And it's all the church's fault.
Christianity, actually, to be specific.
See, while we live in a modern age, we're still desperately
clinging to outdated old rules and regulations, norms and mores, from old-timey
days when the church basically ruled the Western world.
Our calendar (which we've since forced the rest of the world
to adhere to) was invented by a 400+ year dead pope.
Nearly every major holiday we celebrate was invented (or stolen and repurposed by) the Christian (Catholic) church.
So while more and more people are actively leaving the church it's gonna take some time to eradicate the cultural traditions imposed
upon us by nearly a thousand years of forced compliance.
And a great way to start is to end victim-blaming.
Please understand that there are some people who really do
bring woe upon themselves, and they definitely deserve to reap their just
rewards. This is not about them. This is about people who did nothing to
deserve their misery other than simply existing in the wrong place or the wrong
time.
But wait! I hear some of you saying (magically, through
my computer screen, because it can do that now), isn't it their fault
for being in the wrong place at the wrong time?
To which I would say: Why do we
even consider places and times "wrong?" Why shouldn't we, in modern day, industrialized,
civilized lands, have freedom to roam unmolested? See?
You're already blaming the victim instead of addressing the cause.
One of the key tenets of Christianity is the reliance on
Christ in order to achieve "salvation" (as they preach it). If you don't give yourself over to Christ
Jesus, then you're doomed to burn in hell for all eternity.
See it forming already?
Everybody goes to different extremes on this point, but I've
actually heard it said that if you'd never heard of Jesus by the time you die,
then you're still condemned to hell...
Or, from the more lenient of believers, purgatory.
Some people are kinder about it and say that if you don't know anything
about Jesus by the time you die, you can still be forgiven if you choose to go
to him after death, but that still requires you to make that choice.
On top of that, there is quite a bit of persecution of
non-Christians by Christians for learning about Jesus and then rejecting him
and his teachings. These people are considered
worse than the ignorant because, to the view of Christians, they were offered
"salvation" and then actively turned away from it.
Once this happens, everything that goes wrong in that
person's life is their fault, because surely if they'd only accepted god (their
god - the capital-G, father-of-Jesus, old-plus-new testament god) then their
lives would be better off for it because then, and only then, could god (their
god -- see above) intervene in their lives and solve all of their problems for
them.
Or, barring that, he could at least lessen their suffering.
The problem with this (well,
there are many, so I'll try to keep this concise) is that it makes
everybody into victims, and it makes everything their fault. The words "if only" (already found within this very blog post)
spring to mind and are heard often whenever something outrageously enraging
happens.
All trace their roots back to the old line "If only
they'd accept Jesus Christ as their personal lord and savior..."
The reason for this, of course, is that it's easy. We're too lazy in our quest for the truth, or
quite often we don't like it so we look elsewhere for answers. It's easy to point the finger at a single
individual and blame them for their lot in life than it is to look at society
as a whole and try to effect real change.
It's easier to simply look down our noses at the downtrodden and
already-suffering than it is to look at the powerful or wealthy or truly unjust
systems in place and try to actually stop it from happening.
But it has to start somewhere.
So how about this:
Instead of saying "If only he'd complied with the officer's orders"
we start saying something like "If only cops didn't turn to lethal force
as a default response?"
Instead of saying "If only she hadn't dressed so provocatively"
we said "If only we stopped teaching boys that women are their lessors,
put on this Earth to service and please them?"
Or how about we stop saying "If only they'd work a
little harder" we start saying "If only the wealthiest assholes on
the planet didn't fuck over the working class and literally steal billions of
dollars from us all?"
Alternatively we could
say things like "If only we stopped dumping billions of dollars into
bullshit anti-crime initiatives and privatized, for-profit prisons?" Or "If only we actually prosecuted
rapists instead of desperately trying to sweep it all under the rug as if it
wasn't happening." Or even "If
only we could get a SINGLE JUDGE SOMEWHERE IN THIS FUCKING COUNTRY to say 'affluenza'
isn't actually a thing and made all laws apply equally to everybody,
unilaterally, regardless of the level of wealth of the defendant." You get the idea (and I've got a whole post on-deck addressing rich crime vs. poor crime).
But on top of all of these, we should also be moving back to
the source... When someone says "If
only they'd accepted Jesus into their lives" we should call it the
bullshit it is. All it does is separate
people into an "us vs. them" mentality -- and then make members feel
better about themselves by convincing them that those poor, poor souls brought
it upon themselves by not joining their magical little club.
And that's what it's all about, really. Feeling superior to other people. After all, if we're not doing better than
other people, how do we measure our own success?
But again, that's the lazy answer.
So step one: Stop
relying on the failures of others in order to measure your own successes.
Step two: Stop
defaulting to the victim for what happened to them -- look at the situation,
not the people, for what's REALLY going on and start there.
Step three: Stop
being afraid of fighting the big fight.
Don't be lazy and pick on the individuals -- suck it up and don't be
afraid to blame the system, or society as a whole.
I know it can be scary -- after all, YOU'RE a part of
society. If society's to blame, then
surely you're part of the problem, right?
Well, yes. But step
one to improvement is realizing that there's improvement to be made. Start with yourself, and move up from there.
And yes, this goes for
me, too. I've got a lot of work of my own to do, but at least I'm trying. Are you?
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