Updates, Clarifications, and Corrections...

So my last blog was largely well-recieved and I thank you all for taking the time to read it, but there were some misunderstandings and disagreements.

I'm totally cool with people disagreeing with me -- cocky as I may come across in these posts, I'm well aware that I don't know everything...  But I am trying to learn and I do my damndest to do the research to back up my thoughts and concepts.  If I'm wrong, I'm wrong.  I'll admit it, happily, and then adapt and change my way of thinking.  All I ask is the opportunity to defend my points, as I'm doing here.

Some people seem(ed) to think that my last post was in regards to high school dress codes (at least in part), which I can understand, but was not, in fact, the point.  But the dress-code commenters did make some interesting points, so I'd like to respond to them as they were valuable insights.

First off, I really don't have any issue with the concept of a dress-code at schools.

I agree that school is, in many ways, like a job.  You have rules you have to follow in order to succeed, and if you choose to ignore or go against those rules then you have to be prepared for the consequences.  I also agree that if high schoolers, as teen-agers and young-adults, wish to be taken seriously and treated like adults, then they should be prepared to face the consequences of their actions, good and bad.

All too often, children and teenagers have this attitude that grown-ups get to do whatever they want, which is so laughably untrue I'm tempted to just start randomly punching children out of sheer contempt.

But my filial-violence aside, I'm perfectly okay with reasonable dress-codes at schools.

Regrettably, existing dress codes perpetuate the very real gender stereotypes that exist in the U.S.

You can't deny that there's a tremendous male-privilege problem in the U.S. which manifests itself in any number of ways -- ranging from employment and wage inequality to straight up rape-encouragement.  Whether it's Matt Lauer being a dick to the CEO of GM or colleges failing to actually punish rapists.

(if you're looking for rage/murder fuel, feel free to click on any of last six words in the previous paragraph.  If you don't want to lose your faith in humanity and our educational system, don't...  Just don't)

And if you think that school dress codes don't encourage, support, or perpetuate gender stereotypes, take a second and just Google "high school dress codes."

(actually, don't bother - I've done it for you)

I can't speak for any of you, but a few observations I have about those images...

1. Girls are told not to wear "revealing clothing" while boys are told not to wear "inappropriate slogans/logos."
2. Girls are told not to wear short skirts or shorts, while boys are told not to wear saggy, baggy pants.
3. Girls are told not to have exposed midriffs, boys are told not to have gang tattoos.
4. Girls can't have spaghetti strap shirts, boys can't have wallet-chains.

Add this all up, and to me, at least, we have schools telling girls not to dress "provacatively," and boys can't look...  I don't know, like "thugs." 

(yes, I put that in quotes.  I did it because I couldn't think of a better term.  Quite frankly I think it's a completely stupid look/style to begin with, but I don't know what the politically correct term for it is these days, and that's not the point of this post anyway)

"Aha!"  I hear many of you saying (whatever you're reading this blog on has a microphone, I'm sure), "those rules apply equally to boys as well as girls!  Surely the boys aren't allowed to run around topless, either!"

Normally, I'd agree with you...

And then I found this.

That photo came out of the same yearbook that photoshopped extra clothing onto girls for the sake of "modesty."  

So are girls' dress-codes the same thing as "slut shaming?"  Not in and of themselves, no.  But like so many things it all comes down to how they're executed and enforced.  When boys/males are encouraged to rebel, whether consciously or subconsciously, while the girls are secretly covered up, you've really gotta ask what message the administration is trying to send.

And just like how high school is used to help transition children into young-adulthood and teach them the ways of the grown-up world beyond academia, that male-female double-standard teaches them that men can do things that women can't.  That boys don't get into trouble when they break the rules -- they're celebrated for it, while girls who haven't even broken the rules (but could be said to come close to doing so) are forced to change (either after the fact, with photoshop; or directly, with public humiliation and being sent home).  

Is it the end of the world?  No.  Not at all.

Is it as harsh as other forms of discrimination?  Not as such, no.

Is it as extreme as letting admitted rapists walk free?  Good gods, no.

But every time a boy sees that he can get away with something that a girl can't, he learns.  Whether consciously or unconsciously, he learns that the rules are not the same for boys and girls.  He learns that he can do things that earn him an "atta boy" and a chuck on the shoulder that a girl would be chided for.  

Add all of those little instances up, and suddenly that boy has grown into a man that has never seen women as equals because he's never been shown that women are equals.

It's not just dress codes...  It's the constant combination of societal norms and mores that creates the sexism that runs rampant throughout our society today.  

But even village-destroying avalanches start with the tiniest of pebbles rolling downhill.

So instead of ignoring "the little things," why don't we simply address them and fix the problem?  If they're such small problems as to be considered insignificant, they should be easily fixed.

And if they're not so easily fixed, they're a bigger problem than we're willing to admit, and need to be fixed anyway.

Either way, fix the damn problem.

(I'm really coming to appreciate logic in my old age...  Now that I'm starting to understand it and learning how to use it)