Okay, one more to post today to get you new, hopefully faithful readers rolling on the Brian-train. This one came as a revelation, which is ironic in and of itself because it's a rant that's ranting about how people who rant alot are full of shit.
The irony does not escape me.
But still, the point is there, and hopefully delivered well. Keep in mind, these first few posts that I'm throwing up here (pun/innuendo intended) are from very early in my writing "career" and I would like to think that I have since taken this sledgehammer-style and refined it to a blade. When I get around to posting some of my later works I think this will become more apparent.
I'm sure we've all known at least one person in our lives who goes through some radical experience and can't shut the hell up about it for weeks afterwards. Case in point, the beginning of my sophomore year of college. Went through a nasty breakup with a girl whom I was madly in love with who'd slept around on me during the summer and broke up with me to actually try to hold a long-distance relationship with the guy (I saw him once and he looked like Steve Buscemi would if you'd dyed his hair black, gave him a dull razor to shave with, then dipped him in the fryer at McDonalds and slicked his hair back). Anyway, I wasn't over her, far from it, however for the first several months of that school year I did little more than go around telling anybody who'd bother to listen that I was a changed person, that I was over her, that I didn't care anymore, that I didn't need her, blah blah blah.
I'd like to think that the few readers I have have enough intelligence to realize that this was the biggest load of bullshit ever uttered by man.
Now I'm all for personal betterment, finding yourself, and tossing aside relics of the past that do nothing but poke you in the hand when you're reaching for them over and over again, but if you're going to really do that, then do it and shut the hell up about it. Too many times we all meet people who like to preach about how much happier they are, or how much more in focus or in touch they are, when those of us who really know what it's like tend to keep to ourselves, because it's a personal thing. Nobody else in the world cares that we've "found our center" and that we're a "whole new person," because if we really had or really were, we wouldn't have to go around trying to convince everybody of it because actions speak louder than words, no matter how many times you repeat them, to yourself or to others.
They say that the worst lies we tell are the ones we tell ourselves, and I'd have to agree with it. Lying to yourself keeps you from seeing any and all problems you may actually have and should work to either rid yourself of or simply come to grips with them and accept them. Anybody who tells you that they're "perfectly fine and at peace" is lying to themselves in the worst way because it usually translates to "I'm ignoring anything and everything wrong in my life right now in the hopes that this will keep me happy and/or sane;" and it ends up doing neither because it's simply not true. Lies don't become truth, no matter how many times you repeat them.
Historical example: Look at Hitler. He was a little man with nothing worthwhile to say, but he said it loud and he said it over and over again until everybody else started believing the lies he was telling to himself. He duped an entire nation into following his idiotic dogma of hatred and persecution, and look what it led to. The US, on the other hand, took a long hard look at itself and saw it's own problems, recognized them as such, and took steps to overcome them. Want proof? Who won World War II?
(should probably have re-phrased that since the Tao teaches us that there are no real "winners" in war, so maybe it's better put "who stopped Hitler and the axis?")
I could even go martial with this whole concept as well. It's well known to anybody who has properly studied Budo (the warrior's way) that he who constantly looks for fights and feels the need to "prove himself" is one with little skill and even less confidence. Those who have the skills and are confident in their abilities seek to avoid fights and "tests" of their abilities. That's how you can tell the really dangerous guys from the punks with something to prove... They're the ones who try to stop the fights (and usually can) before they happen, and when fights do break out, they're usually over in a matter of seconds because the true martial-artists (yes, it IS an art) can end them quickly with as minimum damage as possible.
Now admittedly, because I'm a huge believer in the fact that there are exceptions to every rule, it's possible that some of the freaks you see on TV really have brought about a change in themselves and really have bettered themselves, and I'm all for that. If someone can really change and help others change for the better, more power to them. But pay attention and notice how they do it... They don't force their beliefs or styles on others, they seek to stop other's pain instead of heaping their own onto others ('cause misery loves company), and ultimately they're fine with people telling them to fuck off because they've become aware of the fact that in life we have no one to truly answer to but ourselves, and if we're really at peace with ourselves, it doesn't matter what others say about you because you either already know it, or it simply doesn't matter. But, true to form, they still listen with patience and true attention because nobody's perfect, and it's always possible that someone out there may say something worth hearing in the midst of all of their screaming and shouting and ranting and raging. (stay tuned to this site! You too may find little nuggets of wisdom among all the bullshit!)
Anyway, it all boils down to true inner-peace, to coin a phrase. If you were really all that "at peace" with yourself and the world around you, you'd keep your peace and leave the rest of us the hell alone.
--Brian
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