Communication

This is another of the "From Japan" series and actually was popular enough to prompt some of my more advanced students to read it and comment on it in class, which was really cool for me because it basically attacks the Japanese social-structure and their way of doing things. As an American feeling the heavy hand of patriotic-racism at nearly all times, it was cool for me to hear some actual Japanese people agreeing with me on how ridiculously complicated their system of communication can be.


Ok, after living in Japan for a grand total of just about seven months now, I've got a few things I'd like to say about the value of proper communication. I'd also like to go over some of the finer points of what exactly is communication; what it is, how to do it, and how to avoid stupid misunderstandings that lead to big big problems (like, say, at work, for example).
Communication is simply the art of saying what you are thinking, and having other people understand that. Sounds simple right? You'd be amazed at the socially inept retards that populate the planet currently who have no idea how simple an idea that is and/or how to properly convey their ideas in a rational, logical, and socially acceptable manner. It's amazing that some of these people can tie their own shoes and/or order food at restaurants, much less occupy high-level jobs in society.
Here are the basic foundations of communications: You have something to say? Say it. You want something? Ask for it. You want someone else to do something for you? Ask them. You are in a position of authority and you want someone to do something? Tell them.
It really is that simple people. Of course, there are guidelines and rules on etiquette and politeness and whatnot, but those are just icing on the cake. Without the cake, the rest ain't worth the plate it's served on, no matter how pretty that plate may be. It's remarkable how simple and easy proper communication can be if you just ignore all of the societal bullshit that gets heaped onto it by people trying to either be polite and/or spare another's feelings. I've said it before and I'll say it again (as a matter of fact, I'll say it right now); Don't bother sparing feelings or being overly polite. Tell me the damn truth once and for all and I'll like you and respect you a hundred times more than if you were trying to be "nice" or "polite" or any other bullshit term you want to use to justify you being too much of a fucking pussy who's afraid to say what they mean and/or think because you're afraid that someone somewhere may not like it. It's called freedom of speech for a reason. It's free, and you can say what you damn well please no matter what people may think of it. John Wayne (yes, him) himself said "I may not like what you have to say, but I'll fight and die for your right to say it." Good man, that one. Shame there aren't more like him.
Here's an example. See if you can spot the proper use of communication in the following example:
You are the manager of a large corporation. You've got a slightly troublesome, but good-intentioned employee (let's call him "Ryan) who is having some communication troubles and isn't quite getting the full gist of items/ideas being put across during business meetings. You want him to take notes during the meetings to make sure that he's getting all the info he needs. You say to him:

A) "Ryan, please take notes during the business meetings and fax them to us so we know you're getting all the info you should be."

B) "Ryan, we were thinking that it might be a good idea if you could possibly take some notes during the business meetings because we think maybe you might possibly not be getting all the right info kinda-sorta."

C) "Ryan, snarkie fargle bing-ding-dong blamf."

f you answered "A" then you pass the test and you know how to communicate. If you answered "B" you're socially retarded and should take a tack-hammer to your own head in the hopes of beating the stupid out of you. If you answered "C" you need to either check yourself into a rehab clinic or stay in hiding from the government. Either way, you'll be out of human contact, which is fine by me as you have no communication skills whatsoever. However, we can see in the above examples that communication is possible. In example A, you have a thought, and you say it. Done and done. Problem solved, Ryan knows what to do and what you expect of him, and he'll do it. Everybody wins, everybody goes home happy. In example B, however, you can see that it's nigh-impossible for anybody to understand what you want, if indeed you want anything, and/or if you've ever spent too much time in an enclosed space with a magic marker sniffing the pretty colors.
How hard is this to do? It's really quite as simple as you allow it to be. Don't be fooled by people who will try to tell you that it's not polite to say certain things, or that you shouldn't say certain things because they're "bad." Quick tip people, there's no such thing as a "bad word." It's a ridiculous concept that was thought up in the late pre-industrial society by stuck up, white, upper-class women who wanted to distinguish themselves from the rest of society even more than they already had, so they decided that only "civilized" people would use certain language, and the rest of the dregs could still call a spade a spade and speak their minds. It's an outmoded concept from an upper-class bitchy part of society that nobody liked in the first place. Think about it. It's a word. Words have no power in and of themselves, it's the thoughts and intentions behind those words that give the words their power. It's kind of like blaming a bullet for someone's death. The bullet couldn't do anything by itself, it needed to be fired from a gun, and loaded into said gun by a human being. Same thing about words. If the intention is there, then it doesn't matter what the words are, 'cause it all comes out meaning the same thing. So please, save us the trouble of having to consult our magical "social-retards" decoder ring and decyphering what the hell it was you just said. Say what you mean, mean what you say, then shut the hell up and listen to someone else for a change.
Before I close, I want to expound on that last part just a bit. Never forget that listening is just as important and vital a part of proper communication as speaking. Some would say more so, because when you listen, it means you're not speaking. When you're not speaking, someone else can speak. When someone else speaks AND you listen properly (not just wait for your turn to speak again), you might just learn something. Something about yourself, something about the topic of conversation, something about the other speaker... Doesn't matter what, because the more you know the more you can speak intelligently, and if you're not going to speak intelligently, I really don't want to hear what you have to say. (exceptions will be made for ridiculous/embarassing comments made in the name of humor and/or drunkenness, but don't push the envelope here, we only have so much leeway to give in any instance)

--Brian