Super Meals: Part Forty-Two

            The time clicked over and Doctor Ralph nearly leapt from his chair. He wasn’t sure what to expect, but he was thrilled to hear the front door upstairs open, and the subsequent two sets of footsteps coming down the stairs and down the hall.

            Jane tried to turn in her chair to watch the door, but as she swiveled she heard the crunch of glass and froze again immediately. Doctor Ralph threw her a stern look and held up an admonishing finger.

            She made eye contact with him, and his wagging finger became a shushing sign as he pressed it to his lips.

            The footsteps got closer, then stopped. Doctor Ralph wanted to speak up and say “In here,” but before he did, Mimi’s voice called out, saying, “It’s me. I’ve got your guy here.”

            Walter’s voice was next, saying, “Yeah, me too. I mean I’m here.”

The door opened.

            Walter walked in with Mimi immediately behind.

            Doctor Ralph flinched.

            Mimi noticed it, and smiled.

            The reason he had flinched was because Mimi had a gun to Walter’s head.

            Her left hand was on the small of his back, leading him forward (and reassuring herself with the gun she had tucked into his waistband), but her right hand had a 9mm nuzzled into the base of his skull.

            “What’s this?” asked Doctor Ralph.

            “This is what you asked for,” said Mimi. “Mister Walter Elliot, your mystery patient.”

            Doctor Ralph smiled and opened his arms as if he were going to hug Walter. “Mister Elliot,” he said. “I cannot tell you how incredible it is to meet you, finally.” He lowered his arms and backed away from Mimi and Walter, but continued, saying, “You don’t know it, but I have been searching for you for a very, very long time.”

            “Who the fuck even are you?” asked Walter.

            Doctor Ralph picked up the shotgun from the table and Walter felt Mimi’s hand clench on his shoulder. “No, Mister Elliot, I’m afraid this isn’t going to go that way.”

            “What way?”

            “I’m not going to delve into some deep, long-winded monologue about who I am and what my motivations are. As much as I do love theatrics, I’m a man of science, and I know that time is not on my side. So now, instead of having a conversation, Detective Spatchcock will let go of you and you will join me on this side of the room or I will shoot Doctor Jane in the chest with this shotgun.”

            He racked the pump-action and the ch-chak! sound echoed off the walls.

            Walter, in his panic, thought it was the loudest thing he’d ever heard.

            Mimi’s grip tightened again, but then released. “Go on,” she said. “You heard him.”

            Walter began to walk forward. He held his hands up like he was being robbed, and, indeed, Mimi kept her 9mm pointed at the back of his head, but halfway across the floor, Doctor Ralph held up a hand and said, “That’s far enough, thank you.”

            Walter jerked to a stop and asked, “What?”

            “Just there, if you please. Before you go any further, I’m going to need Detective Spatchcock to unload her weapon and place it on the ground.”

            Now it was Mimi’s turn to ask “What?”

            Doctor Ralph stepped closer to Jane’s chair and leveled the shotgun at her chest. “Detective Spatchcock. Withdraw the magazine from your weapon, rack the slide once to remove the round from the pipe, then place it on the ground in front of you and kick it over here with your foot.”

            Shit, thought Mimi. He’s good.

            But while she thought it, she obeyed. The magazine slid into her hand and she racked the round out of the pipe, not bothering to watch where it landed and rolled, then she put the gun on the ground and slid it towards him. “What do you want me to do with this?” she asked with mock sincerity as she held up the magazine.

            “Oh, I would like you to throw that into the corner to your left, if you don’t mind.”

            He’s really good, thought Mimi, understanding that this put the components of the gun incredibly far apart. The only way he could have rendered it more useless would have been to have her simply dismantle it.

            Doctor Ralph lowered the shotgun so it pointed at the floor and said, “Please continue, Mister Elliot.” As he spoke he backed away from Jane, towards another corner of the room where his AR-7 lay on a table.

            Walter walked forward, veering to his left to track Doctor Ralph’s movement and placing himself between him and Jane, who remained motionless in her chair this whole time. When Walter was near enough, Doctor Ralph trained the shotgun on him and said, “That’s far enough, Mister Elliot.” Walter stopped, and Doctor Ralph said, “Please turn around.”

            Mimi’s eyes flickered to Walter’s face as he turned and they shared a look that read We’re screwed. A second later their fears were confirmed as Doctor Ralph lifted Walter’s shirt and pulled the revolver out of his waistband.

            Doctor Ralph laughed and said, “Well done, Detective Spatchcock! I must say I am impressed. This is an excellent idea, but I’m afraid that I was expecting it.” Doctor Ralph held the gun up and waved it around. “I assume this was so he could try to turn the tables on me later? Perhaps a ‘save yourself’ kind of thing once we were good and well away from here?”

            Mimi said, “Well, you can’t blame me for trying, can you?”

            “Shut up,” said Walter. “Don’t antagonize him!”

            “It’s quite all right, mister Elliot,” said Doctor Ralph. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to kill her anyway.”

            “What!?” shouted Walter, spinning around to face him, but Doctor Ralph was already leveling the revolver at Mimi and squeezing the trigger. Walter didn’t even have time to attempt anything so noble as to throw himself in front of the shot.

            The gun simply exploded in Doctor Ralph’s hand.

            The blast knocked him backwards against the table where his AR-7 was waiting and Walter was blown in the opposite direction. Mimi had ducked and covered to avoid any shrapnel, but when she looked up she saw Doctor Ralph fling a hand towards Jane, and something slip out of his fingers.

            Once again, the world went into slow motion.

            Walter was on his back on the floor and noticed several test tubes under the wheels of Jane’s chair, and each one was full of a metallic gray substance.

            Doctor Ralph’s motion caught Walter’s eye, and he watched him pull another test tube from his pocket, also full of that metallic gray…stuff…and hurl it towards Jane.

Jane began to scream “Stop!” at Mimi.

            Mimi launched herself towards Jane to intercept whatever it was that was airborne.

             Walter wrenched himself upright and slapped the tube in the air, knocking it towards the back of the room.

            Doctor Ralph had a gun in each hand and started running for the door.

            The test tube hit the ground and exploded, blasting Doctor Ralph out of the lab and into the hallway, and knocking Walter into Mimi and Jane.

            As Walter and Mimi tumbled over Jane’s chair, the tubes underneath her burst.

            And as Walter, Mimi, and Jane were buried under the rubble of the county morgue, Doctor Ralph’s lab coat caught fire and he was showered in shattered glass as he flew through the double doors at the entrance to the morgue, landing in the grass between the sidewalk and street.

           

            Adam had gotten out of Mimi’s car because he was starting to melt the seat underneath him, and to have a smoke. He had locked himself out of his own car so many times that he didn’t dare leave them in the ignition as Mimi had, so he pocketed them as he got out. When the morgue exploded he saw a doctor fly through the front doors and land in the grass between the sidewalk and street, and he ran over to help him.

            “Hey!” he said, shaking the man, whose lab coat was smoldering. “Are you okay?”

            Doctor Ralph rolled over in the grass and Adam saw the two guns before he recognized his face. “Holy fuck, why do you have gu—”

            Doctor Ralph’s eyes snapped open and he jammed the shotgun under Adam’s chin. “Who are you?” he hissed.

            “I’m…” Adam started to say, but the look of mania on Doctor Ralph’s face froze him in place.

            “Car?” asked Doctor Ralph. Adam’s eyes went to Mimi’s car for just a second, but Doctor Ralph saw it and began to stand, using the barrel of the shotgun to lift Adam with him. When they were both standing he walked forward, pressing the shotgun into Adam’s chest and marching him along until he literally tripped over the hood of the car. Doctor Ralph opened the passenger door and waved Adam to the driver’s side where he climbed in. “Drive,” he said.

            “Where to?” asked Adam.

            Doctor Ralph named the fast food place.

            “What?” asked Adam. “You just got blown up and you wanna grab a burger?”

            Doctor Ralph pressed the barrel of the shotgun against Adam’s temple and said, “Just fucking drive.”