Sunday, August 21, 2016

Super Meals: Part Twenty Eight


           He thrust an arm out in front of himself as he flew at Walter, and Mimi thought it was a gun until it flashed. It was a bright white light, like from a small LED, and Walter recoiled from it. Mimi moved forward to intercept the attacker – there was no time to draw her gun – and the man swung his arm towards her in response. She braced for an impact, a reflex action after having been shot at so many times on the streets, but instead there was just the silent flash again.
            This time, however, Doctor Ralph held his finger on the shutter button, snapping dozens of pictures in rapid succession and turning the flash on his phone into a strobe light.
            Mimi took a dozen strobes in both eyes before she could cover her face, but the attack had worked – Mimi rocked back onto her heels blinking stars out of her eyes, temporarily blinded.
            Walter stood up again, recovering quickly from the single flash he’d taken to the face, and took a deep breath.
            “WHAT THE F—” he started to say, but Doctor Ralph spun around and drilled him in the stomach with a forearm shiver, which doubled him over and caused Walter to throw up all over the concrete patio of the picnic shelter before collapsing to his knees, clutching his stomach and moaning.
            Mimi’s eyes cleared just in time for her to see Doctor Ralph swing a leg towards her face. She put an arm up to block it, but the momentum of the kick still knocked her sideways.
            Riding the swing of the kick, Doctor Ralph continued his spin and dropped to one knee while pocketing his cell phone. His other hand swept up some of Walter’s vomit, which he stuffed into his other jacket pocket before standing up again and running like hell for the parking lot.
            Mimi got back up and took a few steps in chase, but hearing Walter moaning on the ground behind her, she stopped and went back to him, drawing her own cell phone from its holster on her belt and dialing 911.
            While she waited for a dispatcher to pick up, she knelt next to Walter and gave him a cursory examination. He was hurt, obviously, but the way he was rocking back and forth on the ground and moaning, she could tell he was still breathing, wasn’t in shock (or going into shock), and it didn’t look like anything was broken.
            “911 dispatch, what is your emergency?” came the voice on the phone.
            “This is detective Mimi Spatchcock, badge number TK421, calling to report an assault at Raven’s park, west end, in the picnic shelters. Victim is injured, but conscious, breathing, and responsive. I’ll need EMTs on scene and put out an APB on a white male estimated between the ages of 40 and 60, mostly bald, wearing a dark grey suit jacket, white shirt, black tie. He fled the scene on foot, but probably has a vehicle close by, possibly accomplices waiting. Do you copy?”
            “Copy that, detective, patrol units are en-route to your location now, as well as EMT responders. ETA, less than four minutes. Are you currently under threat?”
            “Negative,” said Mimi. “Assailant has fled, I stayed behind to tend to the victim.”
            “Copy that. Do you need me to stay on the line any further?”
            Mimi heard sirens approaching already, so she said, “Negative, patrol units are close-by and I will secure the area until they arrive.”
            “Thank you, detective,” said the dispatcher. “I am terminating this call.”
            Mimi thumbed the phone off and slipped it into her pocket. Putting a hand on Walter’s shoulder, she asked “You okay, champ?”
            “Probably.” His voice squelched. “You get a look at the guy who did this?”
            “Breathe first,” said Mimi, “Then you can worry about who did this.”
            She helped him into a sitting position and pulled his shoulders back, opening up his airways while rubbing the back of his neck and shoulders. When he was upright, he gasped a deep breath in, sucking air as best he could, and calming down. When his breathing had gotten close to normal again, he asked, “So…now can I ask who did this?”
            She looked up at the cop cars that were now pulling into the parking lot, lights flashing while sirens wound down and petered out. She leaned her face close to his ear and said, “Remember the weird guy from the drive-through when we got breakfast?”
            He looked up at her, perplexed. “What?”
            As uniformed officers poured out of squad cars and ran towards them, she leaned in again and said, “Just remember, though, as far as these guys need to know, you have no idea who jumped us, got it?”
            He looked at her face and she drilled her eyes into his – her expression said “Trust me,” and he nodded.

            A mile away already, Doctor Ralph focused all of his energy on driving three miles an hour over the speed limit and keeping the car steady on the road. He’d tossed his shirt and tie onto the floor of the back seat, so now he was down to just an undershirt, and his suit jacket was on the seat next to him. He made sure to keep the pocket of vomit on top with the hole facing out so as to not lose any of it, but he had also rolled down the windows to try and keep the smell out.
            He needed a place to run some tests, and he couldn’t go straight back to the hotel. From the park, the town was back to the west, so he’d driven east. He was certain that lady cop had gotten a halfway decent look at him, so any street cops in the area would surely be looking for him. Driving exactly the speed limit is suspicious, which is why he kept it at three over and ditched as much of his clothes as he could without arousing suspicion from casual looks from people driving by.
            It would take time to get back to town, but the GPS in his car was guiding him west, then turned him north through endless rolling wheat fields fluttering in the wind. After passing through a handful of small towns, he turned west again for almost an hour, turning south again to follow a river, then east again on the highway to come back to town from the opposite direction he left.
            It took almost two hours, but he finally made it back to his hotel, with his luggage, clothing, and a field test kit.
            He stormed through the lobby of the hotel, ignoring the other guests who turned up their noses at the stink of vomit enshrouding him and barreling past the front desk clerk who tried to greet him.
            The car, he was sure, would never smell right again.
            His jacked was surely trash by now.
            But the specimen…the precious vomit containing Walter’s vital fluids, was safe and sound here in the hotel room, and he scooped up as much as he could in a large glass vial from his field test kit before crumpling up the jacket and stuffing it into a trash bag and tying it shut.
            After carrying the test kit into the bathroom, he called the front desk, saying, “I’m terribly sorry, I’ve caught a bit of a stomach bug and I’ve…ruined my suit jacket. Could you send someone up to fetch it and throw it out? I don’t want it to stink up the room.”
            The front desk clerk assured him someone would be up right away and, sure enough, less than two minutes later a maid knocked on the door. He handed her the tied up trash bag and said, “I’m sure you’ll want to just toss that in the dumpster outside – it’s good and ruined, and there’s no point in saving it. Hell, you should probably burn it.” He laughed, and she gave a weak smile in response, holding the trash bag out at arms’ length.
            When she was gone, he stripped down to his underwear and pulled a clean set of scrubs from his luggage. Putting them on, he even put on a skullcap, booties, latex gloves and a surgeon’s mask, then went into the bathroom to analyze the vomit.

            Several miles away another team of EMTs was sifting through the rubble of a house that had exploded the previous night. They’d found the bodies of the two police officers assigned to guard it, burned beyond recognition but identifiable by the remains of their uniforms and badges, and were looking for the third victim – the man who lived there.
            His name was Adam Martin.           
            He worked for a rental car agency.
            They found his remains in what was left of the bathroom of the house. His clothes had all but burned off of him, his skin was blackened from the soot, and, as the EMTs discovered, he had shit himself when the house exploded. The reason for the explosion was still a mystery, but the arson unit was on its way to investigate.
            The youngest EMT on site was given the disgusting job of checking the body – it was customary, even when they were obviously dead – and he felt for a pulse. First he put two fingers against the victim’s neck and held them there for a five-count.
            Nothing.
            Then he placed two fingers on the inside of the victim’s wrist for a five-count.
            Nothing.
            He looked at his colleagues and made a slashing motion across his neck with his hand. “He’s gone,” he said.
            The other two EMTs who were cleaning up the site looked at each other. One said, “How many body bags we got left in the bus?”
            “None,” said the other. “We bagged up the neighbors and the cops already. Wanna just throw this one on the cart and wheel him to the morgue?”
            “Yeah, may as well.”
            They picked up Adam’s body and loaded him onto the gurney, strapping him down. When they tightened the straps he grunted, and the youngest EMT jumped back.
            “Relax, rookie,” said one of the other two. “It’s just air leaving the body. Happens all the time.”
            They rolled the gurney into the back of the ambulance and threw a sheet over it…
            …so none of them saw his hand move.

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